My boyfriend recently pointed out to me that my mood is easily affected by the people who surround me. So tonight I sat down and gave this a little thought.
I was losing sleep over a new couch I bought, and the whole time I thought my frustration boiled down to how much I paid for the stupid (but neccesary) piece of furniture. I blamed myself for spending money extravagantly and ultimately failing at being financially minimal. I opened my budget spreadsheet, reviewed my expenditures for the past 5 months, and told myself that changes had to be made. While this is true and I plan to act upon this realization in the next months to come, that same night of my epiphany I was on craigslist looking to purchase a coffee table so clearly I wasn't affected by the financial burden as much I had tried to convinced myself.
Now, I am typing this on my new couch with my second-hand coffee table right in front of me, and I have absolutely no guilt about buying this coffee table despite having lots of bitter feelings about this couch. Why? Because my experience of buying the coffee table was exceptionally pleasant. The woman I purchased it from was simply so kind. She drove the table to my apartment, helped me bring it up my suite, gave me advice on how I can paint the table to match my furniture, and just chatted with me about her life, her dogs, and her kids. She was bubbly, engaging, generous... and I know I interacted with her for only five minutes and these assumptions of her might sound ridiculous. But that day I went to bed feeling uplifted because her positive energy was refreshing and contagious.
The man I purchased the couch from, on the other hand, was the opposite. The interaction wasn't personable, there was greed, and honestly, I felt rushed and taken advantage of. That is all I will say because I have finally come to terms with the couch and the experience and am ready to move on.
Part of living minimally, it is of my opinion that, you let go of not merely items but also energies and feelings that do not add happiness to your life. That is why I am choosing to let go of my anger towards the couch and the man who sold it to me, as well as why I have come to terms with having fallouts with old friends. Of course, you have to be forgiving at times, as well as account for rough days or even periods of your friends' lives where they need you to be there for them. You can't cut people out of your life after every minor disagreement, but overall, I've learned to let go of people who are only a source of negativity. Here's an analogy that might clarify my point: would you listen to a song you don't like on repeat? Maybe it was your favourite song at a point in your life but it isn't anymore for whatever reason. Maybe it reminded you of your ex-partner or maybe you just outgrew its genre. Would you consider deleting that song in order to make room for a new song on your phone? People in your life, just like songs or items you own, should be given that same consideration. Your circle of friends should be filled with people you want to go out of your way to make happy. While I don't believe in a maximum capacity for this circle, I do think that sometimes you need to say a few farewells in order to make room for new hellos.
A little ridiculous that a reflection on an expensive couch led me to this realization, but here we are. Now that the couch is paid for and has arrived, time for me to part with the negativity that the man brought into my heart and move on.
Do you hold grudges? How do you let go of bad thoughts?