My Mid-Twenties

When we're young we want to be older. At six you want to be twelve just because, at twelve you want to be sixteen with a driver's license, and at sixteen you want to be eighteen outside the walls of your parents' home. Then at eighteen you realize being an adult isn't glamorous at all and you want to be six again, but you eventually figure it out and by the time everything is fine you're suddenly in your mid-twenties. Gee, what a mouthful. Horribly long sentences with no commas or breaks - that's how life feels during this time, does it not?

Like I said, everything is fine, except new things come up. What used to be just waiting a couple of years turn into waiting five, ten, or twenty years. Want a car? Probably in five years. Marriage? Probably ten. A down payment for a house in the city? Never. So you go back to feeling as helpless as a teenager, wishing to double your age or at least skip a few years in between.

Oh, you're so young. And with that phrase, they really mean, oh you're too young. Too young to know better, too young to know what you want, and definitely too young if you want to be older than you are right now. Frankly, that's unsolicited advice and it's fucking rude.

We'd rather have space. Space from adults, a break from social media, and an off-switch for our own inner-voice. Space to process the change that surrounds us without judgement. Let us learn on our own that having a car comes with unexpected costs and that marriage is a piece of work. We will figure it out just as we did before. Time isn't ticking. Let us be present without being too young or too old or too little and too much.

I am in my mid-twenties. My joints now hurt randomly and I am newly addicted to caffeine. I am happy. Not just content, but truly happy. I don't feel so lost anymore. My heart doesn’t hurt as much. I still have an inkling of hope in humanity and I don't want that to ever change.