I had a pretty bad week and I wouldn't be surprised if you did too. These are uncomfortable and unprecedented times. The numbers look bad, the internet looks worse, and worst of all is the line at Costco. Amidst all the sirens, I had an 'aha' moment thanks to a couple of quotes in passing conversations:
The fun thing about alcohol in a quarantine is that you never know how it's gonna hit. Is my margarita gonna spark joy? Is it gonna take the edge off? Is it gonna make me spiral? Roulette! -- Priyanka Aribindi on Twitter
2020 is bad luck anyway. -- my friend's dad
Priyanka's quote perfectly addresses my underlying anxiety for what is to come. What happens? What happens after this drink? And more broadly and terrifyingly, what happens next in 2020? Is it good, is it bad, is it really good and bad? It certainly is like a roulette and we can only find out the outcome as it is happening (though, sure, maybe you can make some educated guesses). I can't say that I've spiralled over a sip of alcohol but the weeks are still young. Considering liquor sales are up 40 percent, I'm sensing that others are in similar kerfuffles.
Then there's my friend's dad. Compared to the flurry of emotions in the first quote, the sentiment is a sense of surrender -- a healthy one at that. It is of acceptance that 2020 is a write-off, but without the angry attitude of a teenager. It is of letting go without the bitterness. Luck is entirely out of our control; it's roulette without the anxiety, if we can choose to see it as that. We can carry on nonchalantly without getting entangled in the kerfuffles.
It's very freeing to accept that not everything in life will spark joy. Sometimes, as luck would have it, I must surrender to the wind and let it fly me the fuck around. In those challenging moments, I can shrug my shoulders and choose to just be. It's giving up purposefully and for the better. So I am considering 2020 to be equivalent to tipping salt shakers, walking under ladders, and opening umbrellas indoors. All plans are out the window because every day is Friday the 13th. It's bad luck. Let's stay home.